


Too much pressure

by weavirtue



Category: Figure Skating RPF, virtuemoir
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Life Partners, Partnership, Platonic Life Partners, Platonic Relationships, Press and Tabloids, References to Depression, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Social Anxiety, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 15:36:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14115477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weavirtue/pseuds/weavirtue
Summary: Scott thinks Tessa is ashamed of him, when in reality there is something deeper going on





	Too much pressure

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going through some bad time right now, and this one shot was not supposed to end up like that at all, but I always thought that writing was the best therapy. I was already writing about VM so I kept writing and the plot changed naturally based on my emotions. It could be a trigger if you have anxiety or depression or suffered from self-harm, but it is not too graphic. This comes completely from my imagination because I truly doubt that Tessa would be like that, but anxiety touches everyone of us.

Scott was sitting on their bed, in their apartment or should he say, Tessa's apartment because apparently, they were nothing in Tessa's eyes. It had been yet one more day of media press and her fake smile and her preprogrammed answer and it was driving him crazy but he was such a sick puppy in love with her that he could never deny her anything. He just wanted to know what was going on in her head. 

 

" **Babe, you okay?** " Tessa asked him, entering the room after she had called him multiple times without any responses. She walked in and stopped, seeing her bubble partner/boyfriend sat there as if his puppy had died. She walked up to him and sat herself on his laps, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing their forehead together. " **Scott?** " Scott looked at her, really looked at her for the first time in weeks. He had promised himself at the age of 10 that he would do everything for the 8 years old girl sporting ponytail and a giant smile, showing the fact that one of her front teeth had fell off so that's what he has been doing since the end of the Olympics in 2010 when they won the gold on their first games and again when she promised she would work on herself to be able to give them what they deserved and again after the disastrous Sochi Games and now it was all over again the same thing and for the first time in twenty years, Scott was truly doubting himself and his strength to put this woman first all the damn time without getting anything in return. 

 

Tessa could see that something was bothering him and she could see it was deeper than he wanted her to know but something in his eyes was similar to what she saw in them all these years ago when she told him she would never date him at the age of 12 because boys are gross and smell bad. A tiny smile graced her lips when the souvenir creeped back in her mind which she suppressed rapidly when she saw his eyes darkened. She moved before he could push her away and stood in front of him. " **Talk to me, Moir.** " Hands on her waist, she waited just like that, because they needed to talk and she had no idea what was going on just that it was pretty bad. 

 

Scott laughed and let himself fall on the bed, hands on his forehead and pressed them down until white spot appear on his eyelids. " **So I need to talk to you when you do what, Tess? Listen because it seems you haven't done that in a while. You haven't been the Tessa I know in forever. All i can see in you in the Press Tessa, the fake smiles and programmed answers. So why should I talk to you when I can't even recognise you? Tell me Tessa, why am I here in the first place if you can't even admit that we have been together for the past 3 years to anyone more that Team Canada, and our family? Is it even a relationship because lately I've been feeling like the only reason I was here was to warm your bed at night. And you only agreed to tell them because it would be so much easier for you to fuck me if they knew and didn't question the fact that we were sharing a room? So fucking tell me Tessa?** " Scott knew his words had hurt her but he needed her to understand and know and he didn't even care at this point. If she wanted to be Press Tessa then he could easily become Press Scott and Press Scott was an asshole. 

 

He had sat again during his speech and a part of him smiled when he saw the tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. He looked at her, straight in the eyes and not once did he tried to comfort her. He was fed up of being the one running after the other in this relationship. He had always known that Virtue's women were independent and capable of anything. But it didn't mean that she had the right to dismiss him like he meant nothing and run to him when she needed him. She needed to understand, to make some efforts or he would probably break it off. the business partnership, the friendship, the relationship, the past twenty years of his life, gone. or so he would try. 

 

" **Scott..?** " Her voice was quivering and before she could finish her sentence, tears were running down her cheeks. It was killing him not to reach out for her, seeing her tears had always been his biggest weakness and it was like a second nature to reach out for her and pull her into his safe embrace. This time, unfortunately for her, he would not cave and reach out. He needed answers and real ones for once because he would not accept the bullshit she had been feeding the press, the fans her sister and him for the past months or so. " **Scott.. I..** " She tried again, failed again and one thing we all knew about Tessa is that when she was unable to do something she'd get frustrated which would not help at all. She huffed and let herself fell on the floor, just like that, arms around her knees and head tucked into her arms. " **I'm sorry.. Sorry.. Sorry.. Scott, I love you, I do. I'm sorry.** " She kept repeating these words and as much as Scott needed to hear them, it was not enough. He looked at her, and saw something he didn't expect to see, not on her, not ever. She had started to rock back and forth on the ground, her sweater had ridden up a little, leaving her wrist bare, tiny red lines were drawn on her ivory skin. Suddenly, everything made sense for Scott and he moved faster than he ever had, falling to his knees in front of Tessa, engulfing her in his arms and whispering words of love and apologise. 

 

Scott was pressing kisses to her hair, rocking her slowly not to scare her off. They needed to talk, but for some reason his problems didn't seem as important anymore. He knew they needed to talk about them, but he felt like as soon as Tessa would talk and explain everything would be clear for him, it had always be like that in the end. " **Tess, it's okay. I'm sorry for the way I talked to you. We're good. I love you.** " He turned her around and forcing her body to align with his, arms around her waist. "Breathe, Tess, Breathe." He was taking deep and long breathing to help her calm down. His shoulder relaxed when her own body followed his rhythm and melted into him. 

 

He held her until her arms moved and wrapped themselves around his torso, pressing her body tighter against his. Her head moved a little bit and Scott could feel her breathing getting in sync with his, small puff of air caressing his neck. " **Together, T.** " She nodded twice and pressed a kiss there, still murmuring how sorry she was and how he deserved better. Scott knew that he was one of the few who knew this Tessa, the emotional, sappy, loving, caring and more important the real Tessa. People who watch our interviews or hers, only know the Camera-front Tessa, and for those who watch our performances only get to know the on-ice Tessa. People don't usually realised how sensitive she is and how everything said and showed about her, us, our families or anyone she knows will touch her and make her feel less than she actually is. She had learned really early on to hide all of this behind a facade, and she was for better than he was.

 

Tessa's tears and rocking motions had stopped but neither of them moved out of their embrace, realising how long it had been since they had the time to be just us, together, connecting. " **No matter what, we're together.** " Started Scott, not expecting Tessa to finish their usual anthem but once again, she surprised him but leaning back and pressing her forehead to his. " **and no matter what, I love you.** "

 

They stayed like that, looking at each other until Tessa was ready to open up and talk about everything that has been going on. Scott would wait forever if that's what it would take. He could mot live his life without her and he would certainly not leave now that it was becoming hard. " **I'm here, Tutu.** " A smile broke out on her face and Scott fell the tension leaving his body. She stood up, pulling him with her and walked to sit on the bed, leaning her back on his chest, pulling his arms around her smaller body. Scott was pressing kisses to the back of her head, giving her the time she needed. He was wondering how she would like to process from here, would she open up and talk or would she let him ask questions. “ **Babe?** ” He felt Tessa shook her head, not ready yet to talk but as she moved to pull the sleeve of her sweater, he realised she was ready to show him. His gaze travelled down the length of her arm, widening when he saw small cuts on the entire length of her forearm, some were deeper than others. His thumb travelled up and touched the scars slowly, being careful not to hurt her more. “ **I’m so sorry, Tutu. I should have seen it.** ” Tears started running down his cheeks that he hided from her by pressing his face in her hair. “ **Scott.. don’t cry.. please.** ” Hearing Tessa beg was the end of it all for him, and the sobs he had held in, were there in a second. “ **I’m so so sorry Tessa.. I thought you hated me and us and in reality you were dealing with horrible stuffs.** ” 

 

Tessa turned around and pressed her cheek on his, smiling slightly because no matter what she knew Scott would be there, they were it. She should have trusted him with that, and it was finally time for her to do so. She pulled away and sat down in front of him, legs crossed, holding one of his hands. “ **I love you** ” She smiled before starting the whole tell of how it all went down to hell when the media started putting too much pressure on her, on them and she had no idea how to deal with it. She tells him that she had started to cut herself when he was away for the charity Hockey game and she had spent the majority of the time crying for no real reason and she was simply done with herself, she had found his razor, and unscrewed the blades and start cutting herself, at first it hurt more but now it was just a simple release. “ **I tried to stop, but it was easier to be sad and pathetic for a physics reason, it was easier to deal with the physical pain and with all the media we had to do, it was easier to hid this under long sleeve, than the sadness behind smiles.** ” She moved all at once and fell on him. “ **It was not your fault, it still is not. I’ll get better, I promise.** ” Scott nodded once, and pulled her tighter against his, pressing kisses after kisses on her skin. “ **I will be there, alongside. 20 years Tess, we can do anything.** ” 

 

She kept talking about how the more she was cutting, the more she was addicted to it. She made sure that Scott understood that it wasn’t his fault. They talked for half of the day, both of them shed more tears, hugged tighter than ever and said the words “I love you” more than in these hours than in the entirety of their partnership. Scott had let her talk and express herself for most of it, only asking question on how he could help her and in the end of the day he asked the only question he could thing about. 

 

“ **Will you let me be the partner you need for this?** ”


End file.
